Pouting her lips to hollow her cheeks
Red applied in a single swipe
Her eyelashes were perfectly curled and black
And skin so white, she reflected moonlight

Zipping up the boots and shaking away the thoughts of guilt
Betrayal, still heavy on her skin caused her to shudder
It was never about him
It wasn't his fault, and never would be

Every night was the same
Filled with the same positions, same story, same money
Different man and different hotel
But his face being the only one she saw

She pushed down the bile in her throat with thoughts of green
And showed a perfectly white smile
Giving the newcomer a wink and flash
She saw the look in his eye...virgin

Into the car and into the bed
Same story, same money
She hated herself for the things she would do
Virgin...it would be done soon enough

In the bed, she simply laid back and let him fumble his way around her curves
After tonight, she promised herself, this wouldn't happen
But she knew it would
She knew he would know

As skin met skin, she closed her eyes and saw his face
Thrusting and spilling, she knew it wasn't him
Finishing grunts and heavy breathing
In an instant, it was done, and a tear slid down her cheek

Reaching over, her fingers felt the sleeping pills she always brought
One, two, three, five
The numbers didn't matter anymore
Whatever made her forget

Sleep came, and in those last few seconds of consciousness, a fleeting moment crossed her mind...
On what sweet breath would she find eternal release?
Would the day ever come when she'd never worry about the money
When she didn't sell herself to forget...?

He came to her in her dreams
The man she saw when she was with her nightly client
A smile graced his lips, and she prayed it was time
Bony fingers intertwined with hers

A kiss from his bearded lips, and his hair fell over her bare shoulders
Tonight, she would go with him
Love on the brink of death
This is where she wanted to be

Her phantom loved her that night
A coupling filled with a true desire to be
Too soon was it over, though it seemed to last for hours
And in an instant, he was gone

Crying out in a cold, sweat stained wake
Clutching the only covering she knew
The sheet reminding her where she was
Taking away the purity of his lovemaking

Remembering the drugs, the alcohol
She let her mind reel with the way she found him
Lying on the floor, motionless and breathless
Too many times had she tried to join him

Never succeeding, only hurting
This night would be different
She would join him at last
And night would no longer be her only option

Bare feet padding on carpet
And sliding glass doors opening
The chill piercing her naked flesh
Tonight, it ends

The railing was a silly barrier, much like her virginity had been
A smile as she plummeted, and it was over
Crashing down into the depths
Like she had crashed down on him, the first night

Opening her eyes, she saw him
Touching his face and moving his glasses
No more differences of the night, just him
At last, she was home